I was recently supported in a Hakomi Therapy process that gave
me a breakthrough around what’s been stopping me from
promoting my work.
It was the last day of our second year of training and the invitation was to partner up and explore what we were creating in our professional life moving forward.
We isolated the moment when someone asks me, “What do you do?”
I could feel my heart quicken and jump upward in my chest while my upper back had the sensation of already running away. Because what I want to respond with includes the words “intimacy and sexuality.”
Here I am, an Intimacy Guide, heralding the conversation about shame free sexuality and I panic when I have to tell someone that I work with sexuality!
I was immediately confronted by all the voices representative of my fears, all the negative things another person could think, “You’re smutty”, “You’re just being seductive.”, “You’re exploiting your sexuality.”, “You’re exploiting my sexuality.”, “You’re a fraud. What makes you think you can earn a living while doing something so fun?”
As I continued the conversation with my practice partner about what I actually do, talking became distinctly easier. I welcome the opportunity to speak to my beliefs. I'm very clear on the material I hold and on the loving support I work with clients from.
We both recognized this shift.
“Do you feel seen by me right now?” she asked.
And I realized that I did. And that that made all the difference.
So then I isolated the fear.
The fear of being misunderstood.
Whenever I say the word “SEX” the person I’m speaking to is going to react to that with exactly all the baggage they’re currently carrying.
And there is NOTHING I can do about that.
It will ALWAYS be true.
Somehow this realization released me.
Because what I can do is clearly and lovingly represent exactly what I do mean by “intimacy and sexuality”.
By being afraid to speak about my work I’ve only been participating in the non-conversation around sexuality so prevalent in our culture.
SEX is an extremely charged topic. That’s why I like to work with it. Unpack your relationship with your own sexuality- become clean with all the pursuits and avoidances involved- and the space opened up to relate to others authentically is astounding.
And as it turns out, when guiding towards intimacy, the act of sex is hardly the focus.
The work I do is healing and awakening and empowering and in alignment with innocence, integrity, compassion, and spirituality. This is God’s work. It is bringing our full, human bodied nature into focus and allowing for it to be expressed in non violent and love driven ways. This, playing in the full spectrum of expression, allows us to actually step into our expression of the Divine.